World of No

Me: Can I take tap dance lessons?
Dan: No.
Me: What?! Why not?
Dan: You're 26.
Me: Don't you want to be one of those proud husbands who sits in the auditorium, watching his wife tap her heart out and videotaping the entire grand routine?
Dan: No. I would be willing to be a parent who was taping a routine. But to be a husband with a wife in a child's tap dance class would be weird.
Me: But think about it! It would be great exercise. It would give me a hobby. I wouldn't feel like we never go anywhere. I'd make new friends!
Dan: ...who'd all be the same height as your knees.

When you get married, they don't tell you that your husband will stifle your creativity. Or that he'll ruin your chances of becoming the next big superstar on So You Think You Can Dance. Consider this my warning to all the unmarrieds- learn to tap dance now.

Drive By

Dan and I were heading home. We were stopped at a red light, about to merge onto the freeway. Dan half snorted with laughter.

Me: What's so funny?
Dan: The guys behind us are smoking pot. The driver just handed a pipe to the passenger. And the passenger just ducked below the dashboard to hide himself from view while lighting up.
Me: *looking in my mirror* I don't see them lighting up. The guy is just sitting there and... *sees a long stream of smoke come from the passenger's mouth* Oh. Nevermind.
Dan: What idiots. Who lights up at a stoplight?
Me: Ooh! OOOOH! Can I take a picture of them and really freak them out?!
Dan: No sweetie. You're not allowed to freak out the potheads.
Me: You never let me have any fun.
I tried snapping a picture of them once we got on the freeway and once Dan couldn't stop me, but they sped by us in the fast lane. Great. Get high, then go 90 on the freeway. I'm glad you passed the driving test.

Fluffballs

Dan, Jason and David made the mistake of taking me into the pet store in the mall this weekend. I normally avoid them like the plague. It makes me sad that they are all cooped up in tiny cages. Plus they have to play with puppies they may not like and they are so outrageously expensive, that only a few of them find a home.

After protesting, and spending a large amount of time in Icing while they complained about not getting to see the dogs, I finally caved. We went in the store and I was greeted by the happiest face I have ever seen.

If I do not get a Corgi puppy someday, I will be nicknamed Frowny. Because I will always be frowning. Yes, I am that creative with nicknames.

The puppy was under attack from a couple of jerks who ganged up on him. He had a bone that was obviously far superior than theirs. While one tried to keep him occupied by viciously yanking on his ear, the other tried to sneakily snatch the bone from the adorable hero. I mean, puppy.

Luckily, the Corgi was wise to their evil plans and managed to keep the bone away from them. He fought them off with his brave Corgi demeanor. And he had a smile on his face the entire time.

Dan said he looked sorta touched. Stupid Dan. What does he know?

This is another picture of Corgi puppies. They are approximately 4 weeks old and I want them all.

Dan says we cannot get a dog until we move into a house. I understand the logistics of this plan. I do not understand why we cannot move right now so that I may get a puppy. Hopefully the same week I get Kitten. (Name still undecided. We are now calling him/her the very creative name, Kitten.)

As a random Kitten update, they are 5 weeks old today. I do not get to take one home for 3 more weeks. I think Debbie has fallen in love with them and secretly doesn't want me to have one at all. I'm telling you, the entire world is being mean to me when it comes to cute baby animals.

This blog is probably not a good argument for when I argue with Dan that I am indeed patient.

Kittens multiply like bunnies

Dan has made the mistake of telling me in advance that he offered to give an abandoned kitten a new home. I do not get said kitten for another 8 weeks. I think he tortures me on purpose.

The kitten was born to a cat that has made Home Depot it's permanent residence. After having a litter of 4 cats she vanished, leaving the little bundles of fur in the care of an employee. This employee (Debbie) is hand-feeding the kittens until they are weaned and I can claim one as my own. I wanted to stalk Debbie in order to see the kittens, but Dan won't let me. Something about a potential restraining order waiting to happen.

Anyway, I am very excited about getting my new kitten. I am already brainstorming name possibilities. Jimmy (Choo) or Tommy (Hilfiger) if it's male. Vera (as in Vera Wang) if the kitten is female. Dan wants to the kitten Wang if it's male. He thinks he's funny.

Speaking of cats, I need to write a post about my current kitty loves. That's the next post. For reals.