Eff Baltimore

Dan: What's wrong?
Me: My best friend in the whole wide world is moving to Baltimore! This stinks. Who lives in Baltimore? There's nothing to do there but sing the lyrics to Hairspray.
Dan: Maybe she'll be happy there.
Me: It still stinks!
Dan: Do you want a milkshake to cheer you up?
Me: You think a milkshake will improve the fact that the closest girlfriend I have is moving across the country with her hubby and 2 kids? You think a milkshake will keep me from missing the only person who understands me as much as you do?!?
Dan: ...it's a chocolate milkshake...
Me: Deal.

Jess, if you're leaving me I will have to console myself with frosty, chocolatey treats. When you come back for a visit and I weigh a gazillion pounds, you have no one to blame but yourself. And Wendy's, for making such delish Frosties.