Stay back, I'm part ninja

mugger, originally uploaded by Klick Here.

I was mugged last night, by a person who looks very similar to the picture above. If the picture above was a skinny, pregnant woman. But other than that, they are identical.

I was coming out of my favorite store when a woman approached me. She was sobbing and at first I thought she had been attacked and needed help. She was shaking and kept saying over and over again, "I'm sorry. I just found out I'm pregnant and I don't know what to do. I'm hungry. I'm so, so sorry." That's when I noticed she was carrying a knife and I froze. (Way to go, Killer Instincts. You play possum at the worst moments.) She told me she was sorry, but she needed my purse. I handed it over (wuss) and was mentally trying to figure out how to ask her if I could at least keep the memory card from my camera. But she didn't even reach for the camera. She took out my wallet, which was sitting on top, and opened it. She grabbed the cash I had and then thrust the wallet back at me. Had no interest in my credit cards, the checks, the various gift cards or even my buy one, get one free iced coffee coupon! She shoved the wallet back at me, still crying, and apologized again before taking off running.

I'm fine. It could have been much worse and she obviously needed the money much more than I did. I was a little freaked out, so I went back into the store. They offered to call the cops but doing a mental count in my head, I think I only had about $7. Besides, if she was in that much trouble, i didn't want to cause her any more stress.

I called Dan after being escorted back to my car. A few minutes after telling him the story, I felt better and we started cracking jokes about it. Yes, I laugh in the face of danger.

Dan: I'm just glad you're ok. Do you want me to drive down there and follow you home?
Me: No, I feel better now. I'm glad she was a tiny pregnant woman instead of some scary guy.
Dan: It figures that you would get mugged by a pregnant woman. It's not like I can even play the manly man and go down there, figure out who the guy is and kick the crap out of him.
Me: Yeah, it would be bad if you beat up a girl. Wait a minute. How do I know that you didn't plant her there? To keep me from going to the scrapbook store unsupervised?
Dan: I guess you'll never know.