I Married a Weirdo

Me: Can I bid on rubber stamps on Ebay?
Dan: Have I ever said no to you?
Me: Yes, loads of times. What about when I asked you if you'd buy me a trained snowy white owl like Harry Potter's?
Dan: I only say no to unimportant things.
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Me: What are you making me for dessert?
Dan: Nothing.
Me: No seriously. I need something for dessert.
Dan: Here. Have a box of brownie mix.
Me: Will you make the brownies?
Dan: From a box mix?! No. I only make brownies from scratch.
Me: Fine, I'll make my own brownies. I'll make mint chocolate ones.
Dan: Gross. Mint and chocolate together is gross.
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Me: I'm updating the blog with conversations. Remember when the other day I told you our marraige was a sham? What were we talking about?
Dan: I don't remember.
Me: Hmmm...I guess I do say that a lot.
Dan: Yeah.
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Me: Remember when you threatened to punch me in the face? What was that for?
Dan: I dunno. I say that a lot too.
Me: *begins typing*
Dan: Hey! Don't put that in the blog!!

(For the record, he does say it a lot. But we are in a non-violent relationship. As long as you don't count the time where he accidentally bashed his head into my face and gave me a bloody nose. But I promised him I'd never mention that to anyone so, shhh Sara. No more speaking.)