Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Do you noodle?

From, originally uploaded by Klick Here.

Jillian at The Noisy Plume mentioned Noodling for Catfish. Being the city girl that I am, I immediately jumped onto Google thinking that it was going to be hard to figure out what it is since "noodling" had to be a slang term for something. Nope. Noodling catfish is real and pretty popular according to Cabela's website. The point of noodling is you go to an area of water where catfish lurk. With nothing. No equipment, no safety precautions, nada. You stand there in the water and stick your hands into dark crevices like caves, spaces under logs or rocks and hopefully a catfish will chomp on your hand. You then grab the sucker and yank him up out of the water. Sounds simple enough, except most people probably won't tell you that sometimes it's catfish lurking under there, sometimes it's things like snakes, snapping turtles or beavers. You're basically playing Russian Roulette with your fingers.

Couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

This led me to realizing that not only am I city girl who believes Motel 6 is camping, but there are quite a few other things I am confident to say I will never do. I know, I know. "Never say never," but seriously? Can you imaging me noodling catfish? Exactly.

Things I Will Never Do:
- Noodling catfish. Or any kind of aquatic creature for that matter. (Jillian - is noodling other freshwater life possible, or can only catfish be noodled?)
- Deer hunting. I am not against it as long as people are using the meat. I could just never get myself to aim a gun at a deer and pull the trigger. I'd be too concerned that Thumper was going to come out of the brush and attack me for killing his friend.
- Race car driving. I drive 5 mph above the speed limit. I pay attention to the limits posted in parking lots. Fairly safe to say I will never be comfortable going that fast in a vehicle.
- Become CEO of anything. I would have too hard a time firing people, so I'd keep staff members that were tanking my company.
- Teach elementary school. I play favorites and I think it would traumatize little children if their teacher obviously preferred another student.
- Be on Fear Factor. Gross.
- Be an actress. I get stage fright.
- Cook elaborate meals. I can't bring myself to touch foods that are squishy, which basically eliminates all raw meats and a lot of veggies. It's a good thing Dan does all the cooking. (Except my White Trash Dinner, which could be my favorite meal and he thinks is disgusting.)
- Be a rapper. No explanation necessary.
- Run for any kind of office. I don't like being the center of attention, having photos taken of me and I can't make decisions. I would be the worst candidate ever.
- Admit that Dan is right and I am wrong more than twice. It's already happened once, so he only gets one more this lifetime.
- Learn to juggle. I've tried. I even had to do it as part of a final for a theatre class. Let's just say I did not get an A on that final.
- Be a trendsetter. The latest fads always look funny on me. Tried the short nails with black nail sister told me I looked too emo. Tried on bright candy-colored shoes. Couldn't figure out what to wear with them. Tried dark, smoky eye shadow. It looked like I lost a fight.
- Go on a trip without some kind of plan. David is going to Europe for 2 months without any kind of set itinerary. The idea of that makes my eye twitch.
- Relax. I've tried cutting out the caffeine. I've tried not eating sugar. I'm just naturally neurotic. But I've accepted and that's the first step.


The Noisy Plume said...

I do not noodle and I reckon the activity is specific to both the catfish and the South. I think it might be a seasonal sort of sport like frog gigging. However, RW and I like to use the term in all sorts of situations. For example:

“Hey babe, can you noodle me another Budweiser?”

Classy, I know.

Wegrit said...

Right, so this comment raises a whole new question for me and that is "WTF is frog gigging?"

Really what I wanted to say was there is a very cool freedom in going somewhere with no real plan. My best road trips in the states were the days I just got in the car and said "right, I have to be back by XXX" and just went. It allows you to stop for whatever random thing catches you eye and change directions as you see fit. It's great fun, I promise and this is coming from a control freak!