They're in the Terrible Two Stage

Our cats, while very affectionate and lovable, are weird. Outright bizarre. I often regale my coworkers and family with stories about our cats who think they are humans pretending to be cats.

Oscar, the grey tabby, has recently developed a strange attraction to plastic bags. His personal mission in life has become to destroy all plastic bags. I am not only talking about grocery bags, which we reuse for their litter removal and to line small garbage cans. I am also talking shopping bags, plastic sandwich baggies and food packaging. He has recently discovered that he can rip open the cat food and all of his treats, leading to an all-you-can-eat buffet for all three kitties. We can no longer leave shopping bags lying around and have to hide their food and treats in cabinets. We had a sandwich baggie full of Stacy's "Brain Food" and Oscar chowed down. It's Brain Food, which is citrus flavored. Aren't cats supposed to hate the smell/taste of citrus?

Gucci, the tuxedo kitty, can open doors. Originally, she threw herself at the handle and using her body weight and lucky timing, would manage to knock open our office door since it swung away from her. When we moved to my parents' place, we decided to sequester them in our two rooms and bathroom, so to avoid a kitty/doggy showdown when we weren't home. We weren't worried about it, because the doors swung inwards. Yesterday, my mom discovered the kitties visiting her downstairs, long after we had left for work. Somehow Gucci managed to get one of the doors open and in order to prevent this in the future, we have to replace both bedroom doors and the bathroom door with round handles.

Max, aka Maximillion since he cost approximately that much in medical bills, is more cat-like than the others. He's still not meowing much and purrs non-stop. He doesn't get that when I push him off the bathroom counters, I mean that I don't want him up there. He will continually jump up, repeating this stupid dance of ours until I finally have to lock him out so I can get ready in the morning. He has his energy spurts around midnight, and will tear around the room, chasing after the other cats. Dan often finds himself ducking and dodging as cats fly around his head. Note that it does not distract him from WOW.