Karma - Not On My Buddy List

I often find myself giving people a witty, yet fairly correct life lesson. Normally in Dan's case, it's that I'm always right. Lately, it's been that karma does indeed exist.

Me: Move the bed over there.
Dan: (lots of grunting as he pushes our furniture around the room.)
Me: I think I'd like it centered more.
Dan: (more grunting. And a lot of wheezing. Have I mentioned that he has walking pneumonia?)
Me: OK, just push it back and that'll be fine I guess.
Dan: wheeze... you "guess?"
Me: Well, I like the idea of it being angled this way so the bathroom light doesn't wake you up in the morning. And so I don't have to get out of bed to turn off the light. But I think it messes with the flow of the room to have to walk around it to get to the bathroom from the door.
Dan: How often do you walk straight from the door to the bathroom?
Me: True. OK, leave it here. I'm excited to wake up one night and see you stumbling in the dark towards the bathroom. You'll probably slam right into that wall.
Dan: You're not very nice.
Me: True.

Today? I walked straight into a mirror that was leaning against the wall. I then proceeded to mutter curse words and take a step over, thinking I was walking towards my old closet. I ran smack dab into the side of the fish tank. Karma.
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I often shuffle my feet around the floor, trying to build up enough static charge to wound a small animal. (Hi, I'm responsible for 3 cats.) I attempt to zap Dan, who seems to miraculously absorb the shock without even noticing. As we were moving, I had so much static cling that the tree branch above my car managed to zap me through my head. And then today I was zapped by the windows around the office all day long. I think they are trying to kill me. Again, karma.